2004-05-08 - 5:16 p.m.
Damn, there is too much going through my head right now.
I am the new drum major.
That means that starting in July I am going to be in charge of 100 band and colorguard kids. I am in charge.
I'm excited and I want to get started right now, but...
How am I going to be in charge of those kids? How can I do it if Drum Major isn't there to guide me? God damn, I still haven't talked to her. And that's just insensitive. This meant sooo much to her, and it's like I just cast it aside.
I'm sorry, I'm just going to switch subjects. You people can't understand unless you have been a drum major. I don't even think I understand what's going on...
Just finished Living History. Was very good. Those last couple of chapters in which Hill wrote about running for Senate were depressing. Upstate New York clearly kicks some major ass. I got really homesick when she specifically mentioned my hometown and Skaneateles Lake. And the State Fair. I miss going to the State Fair. People in the south just don't seem to understand the concept.
I want to go home. I've wanted to go home since the day I left. Sometimes I just sit around missing the most stupid things, like the clothes line or my dad's kindergarten diploma or the cellar door. Here, it's just me. There's no family. I miss living in the same town with my uncles and cousins. Even if I never see them. Even if I've never even met most of them. I miss living in a place where I won't be preached at by those fucking Protestant evangelists like Billy fucking Graham.
I'm sorry, I probably have offended every wonderful person that I have met since I've lived here. Forgive me. But ya know what, this is my diary anyway...
You know, someone once said that the most beautiful phrase in the English language is cellar door...
I just tried to call my dad. The stupid fuck isn't home. It's not like he's going to care whether or not I'm drum major. He still won't see me march.
I highly suspect that I will be living out of a suitcase this summer...
